Leave Jessica Alone!

This is one of those blog entries where I would love to use profanity. So, let's get started, shall we? What the hell is going on in this country? Jessica Simpson's photo has been plastered all over the magazines, entertainment shows, and talk shows showing her having gained approximately 5.2 pounds. Could be more, could be less, but apparently she's now considered to be fat! As if young girls and grown women alike don't already have self-esteem issues, now the media is saying that Jessica Simpson is FAT. If she's considered fat, then sign me up! I recently rejoined Weight Watchers - I'm a Lifetime Member who has slipped back into bad eating habits - and this makes me wonder why I bother. Some of you may remember photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt in magazines a year or two ago showing her with a "fluffy" backside in her bikini. She's a size 0 for God's sake! What kind of froggin' ice-holes think that JLH and JS are fat??!!

Harvey Pasternak, Hollywood trainer and author of The 5 Factor Diet, tells Extra the star is healthy:

Harvey, who worked with Jessica during the filming of Major Movie Star in 2007, maintains that, “She has curves where a woman needs to have curves. We all go a little bit up and a little bit down. But she’s healthy. She’s still sexy. She’s still a beautiful woman. And I have no problem with the way she looks. I think if more people looked the way she looks now, the country would be a lot healthier.”

Here are some comments (just as they were written) posted regarding Harvey's defense of Jessica:

• "When did “curves” become a nice way of saying fat rolls? She has rolls spilling over her mom-jeans. I don’t care what most fat lazy American stay at home moms think, fat rolls spilling out of clothing will never be hot."
• "I’m not sure a size 12 is “healthy”…"
• "I think she looks perfectly fine. The bone is for the boy the meat is for the man. She looks about a size 8 whatever idiot that claims 12 is not healthy apparently never knew Marilyn Monroe was a size 14."
• "Jessica looks beautiful. So what if she put on some weight..."
• "I don’t think she’s fat over even overweight, she’s just not skinny anymore and what she’s wearing is very unflattering..."
• "15lbs less and shed be perfect, but if shes happy so be it. happy does not equal healthy though..."

Now, all you "fat lazy American stay at home moms" out there: What do you think? Should we all get really obese and then sit on everyone who pisses us off? I say, bring on the donuts!

My Sister Needs a Blog

I was chatting with my sister, Cathy, last night and she was filling me in on all the crazy guys she's met over the last several months. I told her that she needs a Blog! It's very cathartic (that's the word I was looking for, Cathy!) to write things down. I have to keep my Blog pretty clean (aka, no obsenities such as I'd use in real life) because several people find my blog and then go to my business site. (I want to keep up appearances, you know.) Anyway, I told her she could do her blog and rant about all the crazy guys she meets, the insane situations she finds herself in, raising her two teenage daughters, being a new grandma, and all the things our mother tells her that really make her want to jump in front of a bus. Cathy is very funny and we've joked before that we should take our act on the road just so we can discuss all the things our mother has told us throughout the years that squashed our self-esteeem. There's a good title for your blog, Cath! "It's all mom's fault."Oh she'd love that! Anyone out there who knows our mom - you'll have to keep this to yourself. We don't want MOM jumping in front of a bus!

So, does anyone out there have any ideas on what my sister could name her blog? I'm thinking "She's Just Not That Into You" but she might get sued by Greg Behrendt, the guy who wrote "He's Just Not That Into You" (now a motion picture releasing on Feburary 6th). Or how about "I'm a Bleepin' Vegetarian" because of that guy she dated a few times who asked her if she wanted to come over to watch a movie and eat chicken wings! Here's a few other suggestions I have:

• "What the Hell Was I Thinking: Misadventures in Dating After Divorce"
• "In My Next Life I'm Coming Back Alone" (this was a saying Cathy wanted to have made into a bumper sticker years ago...I love that line!)
• "Cathy's Clowns: How Many Idiots Are Out There, Anyway?"
• "Maybe Being a Lesbian Wouldn't Be So Bad" (just kidding...not that there's anything wrong with that!)

If you read this blog and would like to leave a comment on this subject, please do! Or you can email me with your input and I'll pass it along to Cathy!

More Words of Wisdom From Southern Dad

Here's a few more uplifting messages from my father-in-law, Donald Sr. Hope you find them as encouraging as we do!

"Build a Garden around my Life
out of Peace of Mind, Serenity, and a Sure Faith"

"Live Today with Faith, Hope, and Love"

"Let God be my Guidepost for direction in Living"

One Week to Go

You might think I'm talking about Donald coming home from Tennessee - he'll be home on Friday the 30th. But, no, I'm actually talking Super Bowl! Did our team make it this year? NO! Who are we going to cheer for this year? Probably Arizona. A friend asked me why they are called the Arizona Cardinals since she didn't think Arizona had Cardinals. There must be cardinals in Arizona somewhere. Right? Well, they started out as the Chicago Cardinals (I think) and then went to St. Louis (I think). Now they're in Arizona. I really don't know. How many Buccaneers do you think live in Tampa Bay? I'd say very few! And what about Giants in New York? I could go on and on...

Anyway, there's a "little" surprise for Donald when he gets home on Friday. It'll make watching the Super Bowl together even more exciting. It's big and flat and has great picture and sound. I don't have to worry about him reading this, because he never visits my blog. At least I don't think he does.

Just a Stroll Down Pennsylvania Avenue

Watched the Inauguration coverage yesterday - all day - except for when I had to go walk a couple doggies. Once I got home, it was back to the TiVo! "Grandma Jan" came over last night and we watched the Oath of Office (Poor Justice Roberts will never live down the day he screwed up administering the Oath!) and President Obama's speech. Doesn't that sound nice? President Obama. The photo above was taken while President and Mrs. Obama walked down Pennsylvania Avenue after the Oath of Office and before the big parade began. They look like two people out of GQ walking down the Avenue. Let's all say a prayer that the Obama family is kept safe from harm and that God instills President Obama with the courage and wisdom he will need to see this country through these difficult times.

(Chuck Kennedy-Pool/Getty Images)

(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

My Sister is a Grandma!

My sister, Cathy, is a grandma! Her son, Jeremy, and his fiancee, Angela, had their baby at 3:34 pm on Friday, January 16, 2009. His name is Aedan Joseph Carlton, weighing in at 7 lbs. 12 oz. I remember when Jeremy was born; now he's a father! How did that happen? Well, I know how it happened, so let's not go there....but how did he grow up so fast? Below are some photos. I hope Angela doesn't mind me putting her on my blog. Doesn't she look beautiful, that new mommy!

Baby Aedan

Jeremy with his baby boy

New Grandma Cathy with Aedan

Great-grandparents (again) Bob & Mary
Jeremy, Angela, and Baby Aedan

Numb & Number

My title today is stolen (or should I say borrowed) from my favorite weather guy, Paul Douglas. (Note to WCCO in Minneapolis: The dumbest thing you ever did was let Paul Douglas go. I still haven't forgiven you for that!) The Paul Page talks about how froggin' cold it's been here in Minnesota. You people out east don't know the meaning of the word cold until you have three straight days (or has it been more than that?) when the high for the day has been in the negative. As Paul says in his entry:

Numb & Number
Theoretical question: can you feel any colder than numb? Thursday was, in all probability, the coldest day of the year with a low of -21 and a “high” of -6 F. Here’s a virtual high five – you just survived/endured the coldest day in 5 years. You made it. Think about that – most schools were open, people went to work, mail got delivered, people shopped, worked out, went about their business. Anywhere else in America they would have declared martial law and activated the National Guard. Here in Minnesota we just shrug our (frostbitten) shoulders and mutter “no big deal.” Having the sun out helped; have you noticed daylight is on the increase? In 2 weeks the average temperature starts to RISE again, for the first time since August...

Crazy me, I'm waiting for that really big snow storm. The kind we got in central New York state that dumped a good 1-2 feet of snow and it took days to dig out of. Now that is what I call winter!

Computer for Sale

Nicholas has created his own computer. Anyone want to buy it? He used tinker toys and then a piece of paper for the "keyboard" and the "screen". He has a little holder for his blue marker on the side of the keyboard, and when he "types" on the keyboard, he takes his marker and writes the same word on the screen. So cute and so creative, I just had to share. In the future, when our son becomes a billionaire engineer / doctor / astronaut, you will wish you had this little piece of history. :-)

Goofin' at Perkins

After church yesterday morning, we stopped at Perkins for breakfast. Sort of the last "get together" before Donald headed out of town this afternoon. While at breakfast, Nicholas decided to try on Daddy's hat and be a goofball. Have you ever seen such a beautiful, blue-eyed goofball in your life? I think not! I set Donald's favorite pose as his wallpaper on his iPhone so that he can see Nicholas whenever he wants. I set my favorite pose (the last one) as my wallpaper on my iPhone too! Which pose do you like best? I'd love to know.

A Month of Single Motherhood

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? I am about to find out. Darling Donald will be driving down to Tennessee on Monday, January 5th and won't be flying home until Friday, January 30th. Instead of coming home around the 16th for a few days and then again on the 30th for a few days, we decided he should fly home on the 30th (in time for the Super Bowl!) and stay up here until February 9th. It'll be hard being apart for so long, and at times I'm sure I'll feel like a single mom. What do I do with myself? A.C. told us that it's very important to give each other "permission to have a good time" while we are apart. That means, if I want to go out with a friend and have a good time while leaving Nicholas with a babysitter, Donald should not scold me for having fun while he's away. And if Donald wants to go to a jazz club and have a drink while listening to jazz, I should not scold him for having fun while he's away. Of course, he has to be back to his hotel by 10pm and no flirting with the girls (or boys). :-)

I haven't been without my husband for this long since before we were married. When he moved to Florida and I still lived in New York state, we went two whole years without seeing each other! We only talked by phone and via e-mail; and even that was limited. Now we have e-mail, cell phones, and text messaging; so things will be a little easier. With as many "acquaintances" as I have in Minnesota, I have very few close friends. I know that if I were in Georgia, Mandy would be right next door and she and I would have some sleepovers, especially if her hubby was traveling at the same time. Our boys, Nicholas and Will, would love having a sleepover! I know Grandma Jan will be available; she's already begging for Nicholas to come over on the 10th of January to help put away Christmas decorations. Maybe she'll be up for a sleepover?